Untitled #1 *

* Last Tuesday I went to the Art Gallery (entry by donation) because they exhibited Cindy Sherman and there were just few days left. Most of her work was untitled. I loved her work, especially the early ones, and I admired her and resonated with the everlasting idea of changing who you are and becoming someone new by always staying you.

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Live life to the fullest. Make the most of it. It’s something unpredictable but in the end it’s right, I hope you have the time of your life. Words so big you easily feel the pressure put down on you. On me.
Waking up every day I keep telling me that this journey is about to change something. That I’m here to be the change, to embrace it, to internalize it. It feels like the time to overcome: low self-esteem, binge eating, physical weakness. Of course I am scared. Not certainly about missing the opportunity but about failing, which is probably one and the same. I haven’t overeaten for nearly a week but did it two days in a row on the weekend. I’ve started a 30 days of yoga challenge and completed day 14 today, liking it, feeling excited about it, curious, wanting to learn more, wanting to do myself good, to care for me. I want to care for me. I had an interview at a café today and will be doing some test work on Wednesday, another interview, also at a café, will take place on Saturday. Suddenly it feels like I had to do a short trip to Vancouver Island to — live life to the fullest, making the most of it. I could stay home instead, keep exploring more beautiful places around this city, possibly catching up with new people with the help of numerous apps and communities. Continue evaluating the campervan market. Making plans, playing with the endless count of opportunities. Hopefully stop wondering how poorly structured and how utterly intimate this blog turns out. Cultivating awareness about what it means to me, and only to me: I wanted to write. I wanted to grow. I will use every impulse, every sudden desire to articulate, and I will not be ashamed and I will be doubtful still but I will share it, with my voice, standing strong (Mountain pose).

Yesterday I went to Pacific Spirit Regional Park. I actually miss the words to describe how incredibly beautiful I found this place: sunrays glancing through a tremendous variety of different shades of green, trees so tall you almost imagine their crowns kissing the clouds, a smell of humus, vivid and infusing, silence, just the sound of creaking gravel accompanying my steps. I walked more than 9 miles (15 km), had dinner and a secret beer at the beach, the most amazing views.

Minnekhada Regional Park on Friday and Lost Lagoon at Stanley Park today also were highlights of these last, most times sunny days. I realize this to be a trait specifically belonging to me: I love being surrounded by beautiful landscape, I feel close to nature, calm, protected, secure, astonished by its beauty, grateful to be in this world, called to commit myself to harm the least I can.

This random kind of posting might be continued. I’m still figuring it out. I like to play with it, to not force it into a certain form, to be and share my most authentic self. I’m glad for everyone who’s with me. Namaste.

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PS: Feel free to turn on email notifications when there’s a new post since I don’t feel like bothering everyone with spreading on social media as soon as there is some sudden random thought to share.

PPS: Thank you, Bruno, I feel incredibly grateful having found a new, true friend in this city. Enjoying every minute we spend time together.